Aug 2019, I was assigned as the Team Leader (TL) of the second CLP. My partner-TL and I were tasked to assign positions to members. We both decided to still assign JK as Musicmin head. I was asked to talk to him if he can take/commit to the position from Aug23-Nov 23. Thru chat, he told me that he cannot commit because he would like to allot his extra time in preparing for his requirements abroad, but promised me to give support as drummer/guitarist. He also told me that, in any case, he needed to leave by 9pm, so he can have enough time to talk to his girlfriend abroad. I took that deal.
Since then, chats between JK and I focused on informing him about updates of the meetings on CLP as I was assigned to oversee musicmin. My task is to make sure that the drummer/guitarists/singers will attend the practices and the main events.
Once in a while, when CLP happens on a Sat, we would drink (alcohol) at a sister's house. We were just a small group of 5 members, since our houses are near each other.
Sep15 (Sat), we were invited to drink at the same sister's house. I remember JK mentioned how “napakachill na girlfriend ni Kim.” na ok lang daw kahit may mga ka-close siyang ibang babae. JK and I sat beside each other, and he told me about his experiences in SFC as the musicmin head, his struggles/sacrifices, which all happened during the time that I was not active in SFC. I told him to forgive the people that disappointed him, and promised him that I will make sure that he will have good experiences in CLP now that I was the TL. I asked about musicmin's plans on one of the big event in CLP on Oct 18. He told me that they still haven't talked about it with the other musicmin heads.
It started to rain when we were walking home around 1am. Nath was walking a few feet ahead of us with his shirt up in his head to shield against the rain. I have my umbrella. JK was just walking with nothing. So, I extended my umbrella to him. He's a lot taller than I, so he held my umbrella by his left hand, and put his arm on my left shoulder. I think no malice, but logic, since it's raining. JK and I continued talking about musicmin, when he told me that he might not attend the Oct 18 big event because it's his friend's birthday and that he needed to go to Laguna. As TL, I needed JK's help for that big event. So, I asked/pleaded if he can go to Laguna a bit late, just so he can help first the musicmin on Oct 18. Then JK would say no. I will ask/beg him again. He would again say no. (parang nagpapabebe)
Then we had to turn to a small street, Nath suddenly got lost in our view. JK said, "uy, lumiko na si Nath." I just nodded.
The end of that small street was a bit dark. When we reached the end, JK slightly dragged me by the cement wall, lowered his head to mine and said, "wag ka makulit, kundi kakagatin ko ilong mo."
I was confused and told him to walk by himself, but as I was getting my umbrella, he wouldn't let it. He said sorry and said, "hatid kita, wala akong payong, patilain ko muna, at najijingle na rin ako." And I have to agree it was cold outside.
When we reached my house, before he went to the toilet, he asked if he can drink coffee as he felt hangover. While drinking coffee, our talk about his possible absence in the big event started again. It was a cycle of I begging him to attend and he saying no. Then he started to hug me, at times he hugged with his head on my chest. Then he would face me and gesture a pouting lips as if he wanted a kiss.
It was really getting late, so I told him that he needs to go for the rain also stopped. He stood up, I opened the door. JK dragged me by the door and gave me a long hug. I said, that's enough. But he said, "kulang pa."
I walked him at the gate, and he hugged me, but this time, it's very tight, I cannot breathe that I had to tap his shoulders just so he would let me go.
That was the first time JK went to my house.
Morning come and I thought what happened that night was just "dala ng kalasingan." I tried to keep things as casual as it was but as soon as we chat, JK was the one to open about that "hug" incident and that it made him excited to attend the big event, and forget about his friend's birthday.
3 weeks after (Oct 5), a brother who came from the province told us that he wanted to treat us for drinks. JK suggested to just buy drinks and to drink at my house instead. The group agreed, so I had no choice, thinking that JK won't do anything as the group is there. He wanted to invite Nath, but was with his girlfriend (so baka hindi payagan). So, he told one sister to call Nath, na siya daw kakausap para pumayag.” I joked, “ang galing magsinungaling ah, parang sanay na sanay ah.” JK replied, “oo naman, sa 7yrs ba naman, hindi pa ko marunong mang uto, ewan ko na lang.”
Then 2 persons already went home, which leaves 3 including JK still at my house. The two were too drunk/sleepy to go home, but I insisted for JK to take them home. JK replied, "tulog na yang mga yan sa alcohol, mahirap na gisingin. Kaya, akyat na lang tayo sa kwarto mo, matulog na din tayo." He went to the stairs. I said, "ikaw, umakyat ka pero hindi ako aakyat. Bahala ka."
He then grabbed my hand and took me outside where he hugged me while caressing my butt. He gave me a backhug saying, "dito na lang ako matutulog." putting his head on my shoulder. Slowly, I felt his hand going inside my shirt. I touched his hands and said no and went inside. I told him it's getting late that he should wake the two boys and go home. He sat on the chair and motioned me to sit on his lap. I said no. He stood up, and put my hands on his head. I grabbed his face with both of my hands and asked, "what do you want ba?" He said, "ikaw?" I whispered to his ear, "we really cannot cross the bridge, I'm sorry."
He went to sit again. I sat also. He then put his arms on my shoulder and was able to put his hands inside my shirt, and touched my boob saying, "in fairness, makinis ah."
He then again went outside, I followed and asked him to go home. I can sense that he has no plans of going home until we do something else, so I just gave him a kiss on the cheek and said, "next time na lang." Thinking that there will be no next times as I can just avoid him after this night.
As soon as I said that, he went to fix himself, wake the two boys, get his bag, and went home.
That Sunday morning, he messaged me about that "next time."
Due to this, I tried to avoid him by talking to him only when it is about important CLP concerns, which is practices (every Wed) and the main event (every Fri).
JK wanted for us to meet even without SFC activity. He even got excited with the idea of out of town trips, which I thought was in groups, but apparently what he wanted is out of town trips just the two of us.
Oct 19, JK messaged me, inviting me to drink. As I was afraid that another incident will happen, I pretended and replied that I was sick. He then messaged me if I can modify his resume for his job applications abroad. I thought he really needed help in his resume, so I agreed to meet him a week after to fix it.
Oct 26, I treat the group for my birthday dinner. I initially planned just a dinner without alcohol as I know what might happen between JK and I. However, one sister invited us to her house and that we could not refuse. The drinking session ended pretty early. As usual, we were walking home, it ended with just JK and I. He started to give me a peck/light kiss on my cheeks while saying happy birthday to me.
I told him "wag mo na kong ihatid" and pushed him away. I continued walking by myself. As I turn to the street near my house, I saw JK still standing where I left him, looking at me then said, "hindi nga, uuwi na ko." with eyes that will not take no for an answer. I stood there looking at him, and JK looking at me for a long time until I gave up, held his arms and said, "oh sige, tara na." As soon as he opened the gate to my house, he said, "I'm home!" with a full smile on his face.
As I reached for the housekey, JK stood against the door, grabbed my hand, and started kissing me, heavy kissing, like there's no letting go of my lips. It was so deep and long that JK left me a huge kissmark, big enough that made me wear a face mask at work for 5 days to hide it. There was touching all over the place. While kissing, he then slowly slides his hands inside my shirt touching my boobs and tries to take off my bra.
We went inside the house and to my room. He lay on my bed and motioned me to do the same. We continued the makeout for quite a long time. He wanted to use his fingers on my vagina, but I stopped him, and told him it's a no, and that he should go. He said, "hindi ako aalis hanggang hindi pa ko tapos." By the moment, he's into sex, I stopped him and sat on the bed. I told him that we should really stop. I said, "JK, itigil na natin ito, kasi may girlfriend ka kaya." (And I was then having a complicated relationship with someone). His answer shocked me that I just sat at the edge of the bed for a long time. JK said, "eh may boyfriend ka rin naman ah. Baka nga kayo ng boyfriend mo mas grabe pa dito ginagawa ninyo.” So, I asked, “eh kayo ng girlfriend mo?” He said, “oo naman, 7yrs ba naman.”
As I still sat on the bed, not moving, he remained lying on the bed like he was sleeping. I let him sleep for about two hours, and woke him up after and that he needed to go. He went to the toilet. I thought he will go home, but he went back to my room, lifted me up to lay me on the bed and started his heavy kissing. He swerved his whole body and started pumping on top of me with our clothes on. When he's done, I said sorry and told him I really cannot give him what he wants. He said, “pinagbigyan na nga kita eh (by just sleeping), next time…” Then, he went home.
Since then, if our topic is not SFC-related, our chats became “maharot na.”
Since then, JK and I somehow have our code, “jak en poy” means makeout, heavy kissing with touching. While “next time” means to have sex.
Since then, every day kinukulit na ko ni JK as to when can we finally do it, when will be our “next time.” I've been avoiding the act by making excuses, that I had to work overtime or I have personal na lakad with my friends, or that we don't have a place to do it.
JK was standing at the gate of the house. I asked for his hands, to see if it's true. His hands are really clean, without those black grease he always get from work and well-groomed. Hinatid ko na lang siya pabalik. As we walked in the pathway, we stayed for a few minutes to a dark part to kiss with his hand caressing my vagina. He asked when will my roommates leave and I said in the early morning.
And so, it was the morning of Nov 1, 2019 when JK and I had our first sex.
I admit that I liked what we did and that I did it with JK, for he was a gentleman in bed. Though, it was just a quickie, as both of us had to go to our own provinces for the holidays. However, I know that it is wrong, and I hate myself for doing it. But, then felt satisfied and guilty at the same time.
I started to think about what JK and I were doing. The first hug incident, I thought that maybe he needed comfort due to his struggles with LDR. But then, we often engage in makeout soon after that with his invitation to go all the way to sex. Until finally, we did it.
Nov 8, JK went to my house to ask me to edit/check his resume that he'll be applying for a jobfair. I edited his resume and created a cover letter for his applications.
3 weeks passed without any makeout and invitation to have sex. But our friendship was still there. We still see each other in gatherings and still chat with each other. So, I thought that maybe that was just a one-night stand. We never talked about putting any labels on what we were doing. It also seems like JK doesn't want to have a serious talk about us.
I decided to browse your fb (It was Kimberly Jean Andaya, then Kim Andaya) to give me a clue to your status with him. Kung cool off or was there ever a break in your relationship with JK during the times that we were doing it. You posted a convo with caption: balakajan 😂😂😂
One asks: baket ang luwag mo sa jowa mo, eh kung magloko yan
One answers: (something like) malaki na siya, alam na niya ang tama at mali. Kung hihigpitan ko siya… Kung magloloko siya…
Your post somehow says that you are giving him the freedom to do whatever he wants. I thought that maybe you both agreed to be “maluwag” on each other considering the LDR situation that you are in.
So, I was somehow not surprised when after 3 weeks (Nov 23), right after the last CLP,
At the back of my mind, I was really confident that we can't have sex this night because I did not tell him that my roommates were still in the house. I only plan to drink and some makeout.
When he got to my house, he went straight to the stairs. I stopped him and surprised JK, laughingly and jokingly said that we have no room and we can only stay in the living area. He jokingly said, “sabi mo walang tao, ang dami ko pa namang dala (condom). Plano ko nga magstay until 5am eh.”
He had no choice but to sit on the couch with me. As I was trying to open the can of rootbeer, JK was just touching my hair. He then whispered, “sa banyo na lang tayo.” I looked at him and saw that he was serious.
We both went inside the toilet and had sex there. After that, we went in the living area, where there is small kutchon and continued having sex. It was definitely a long night. It wasn't like the first. JK was not in a hurry at all and seems to be enjoying it as well.
After that, we went back to sit on the couch as he wanted to stay until the morning. We talked a great deal about each other. He talked about his kapatid na pinapaaral niya, his adventures with his friends, and how he wanted to grow in the automotive industry. He asked about my family. We were laughing and having a really good time. It was definitely a good night.
Dec 2019 was a busy month for the both of us with work and other things.
It was Dec 7 when JK messaged me that he has plans of going to UAE, possibly early next year.
He did not commit to SFC as he needed to do extra job to earn for his visa and plane ticket expenses. Even though both of us were busy, our communication is still there. He would often update me about whatever preparation he was doing for his applications abroad. He even asked me if I know of people na pwede niya sabayan as he plans to cross country to reach UAE. He even asked if I myself have plans, “para ikaw ang huling kasama ko before ako pumunta ng Dubai.” Unfortunately, I have no plans yet in the next two to three years.
This Christmas vacation gave me time to rethink about this whirlwind romance I ended up having with JK. Lalo na when he posted this:
I really wanted to know kung ano bang plano niya. Sa amin. Dito sa ginagawa namin. I wanted to know kung nagcool off ba kayo around Oct-Nov 2019, during the time na sobra yung pangungulit niya at nagsesex kami. At nagkabalikan ba kayo ng Dec for him to post that?
But I never got the chance to ask because JK never wanted to talk about it. I never know the answers. Later on, hindi na rin naging importante pa sa akin na malaman yung mga sagot dahil I'm starting to realize na hindi ko na ginugusto na ituloy pa itong secret affair na ito.
