Eureka!

September 1, 2013

Forgive me, Archimedes for using your invented expression because I think, I finally found it.

Sinatra sings, …regrets, I have a few… too few to mention. I guess,  I have too.

I definitely can say right now that my biggest regret was that I did not take my resignation at SMA last April 2012. First, I have definitely put on hold for a year my gratification for appreciation and self-worth in exchange of the “unsuccessful’ betterment of Jef. 
In which my degree that I am struggling with to finish is a big deal.

In the outreach program I had last Saturday with my Technical Writing students.

They had this contest for the participants of slogan making and I together with the GK Head was the judges  And so, they asked us to provide our profile as credible judges. Shyly, though, I gave mine- because they forced me to.

And so I wrote that I was an AB/ BSE Literature graduate taking Master of Arts in Linguistics. The emcee, who is also my student, confirmed by asking me if I was a double-degree graduate, and again shyly, I nodded. He said, (and this is music to my ears) ‘ang galing talaga ni ma’am tapos MA pa Linguistics." I saw pride in his eyes and even in his cheeks.  

Although, I never regret accepting. With that I learned, that it was easy for me to accept it- the recognition, because for so long a time, I've been working and tiring myself out for that kind of recognition. Finally, I earned it. It bit me down my marrow and it made me alive.

April 15, 2013 11:03pm

Miss,

Ingat ka po lagi. Mamimiss ko po ung itsura mo kapag wacky shots. Haha. Saka kapag nagsasalita ng iyong mga words of wisdom. Pati ung pagmumura mo kapag papasok ka ng faculty room kapag naiinis ka. Pati ung mga kalokohan niyo ni Richard. Thank you sa pag-intindi sa akin. Lagi mo akong inaalalayan dahil shunga pa ko sa mga rules etc dyan sa school. Salamat po kapag inuupdate mo ko at sa pashe-share ng experiences. Sa lahat po, ikaw po talaga mamimiss ko. Ingat ka po lagi miss ah. Thank you sa mga words of wisdom. Mas lumalawak ang pag-intindi ko pag naririnig ko ung mga ganyan mo. Haha. Galingan mo po. Sana dumalaw ka miss ah. Salamat sa tips and strategies na tinuro mo sa akin before. God bless po. Thank you I had the chance to meet such wise wacky friend like you. God bless Miss. Mamimiss talaga kita. I know saglit pa lang rin tayo nagkasama pero nagpapasalamat po talaga ako. God bless. Huhu. Haha. :-p Ingat po Miss at paramdam ka hah :*

 

Love love,

Agneliz :>

 

Stranded

June 23, 2013

How I wish na stranded na lang ako ulit sa gitna ng Pedro Gil hopelessly waiting for a jeepney ride back home in a stormy rush hour night time, instead of this kind of emotional way of being stranded.

I had that plan back May 2012 to move forward with my life; trying my hardest to go away from you, to have that enough distance. Richard, on one hand, last school year, initiated that plan for according to him, he read my plan in my aura. He taught me how to gradually move on which I did eventually as I tell myself.

I did. I have moved on. Frankly, I have moved forward.

I did many things as Richard advised me. It was definitely a conscious effort. I did many things. As much as I could, I try not to think about you and not to have special feelings for you, to no longer invest emotions. I consciously lessen talking about you or asking people of your status or of your day to day activities. I accumulate all material things that remind me of you, things that you gave me and put them all to trash.

Even in my dreams, I try not to dream about you. I tried not to put any special meaning to things that you do towards me and that I always remind myself whenever that happens that you also do that to other people and so I am never special, I never was. I venture on a spiritual journey too, thinking that it might be the problem.

I am letting go of you. I let go of you. I have to move on. Or so I thought.

Until that fateful summer afternoon.

I give you the benefit of the doubt that you really did not see me- that it was a blind spot. And that seeing me across the road was never a probability.

But you gestured a 'hi' through your hand that broke the imaginary line of the road. You have too many questions about me as if you want an update. I guess I must blame myself for making you believe that we are friends.