miss mo 'ko, miss kita

            "Naku, mamimiss mo din  siya", said by our colleague. And I said as a rapid response of my misplaced pride to this sudden assumption of his misplaced affection, "Naku, baka siya mamimiss niya ako. Eh, ngayon pa nga lang na nandito pa ako eh, namimiss na niya ako." '

            That hedonistic utilitarian!!!! I mean, how can people regard my presence as one who is ONLY USEFUL. Am I a thing??? Of course, not. I'm biologically, a human being. I'm not made out of some mechanical equipment. I'm not a robot. I'm made up of feelings, senses, emotions, cells. I'm all human. Is it my fault to project a dependable character, that people regard me as one who IS ALWAYS THERE, WILL NEVER, SHALL NEVER, OR IS AFRAID TO BE ABSENT?   I do not blame myself for having these good qualities: efficient, hardworking, self-reliant, dependable. I am what I am. I am who I am, yesterday, today, and even in the succeeding future. I will never apologize for being who I am. Just as the great Margaret Thatcher said, "never apologize for your emotions." I just find it unfortunate on my part that people misunderstood my  character and my personality, that they tend to exploit my kindness to the point of charity or free service, and my dependability to the point of gullibility. 

                 I guess, that's why people take so much care for their things, their gadgets, their possessions, as if these objects are alive. Some of them even give names to these objects, hugs them so tight whereas they haven't hugged a person as much as they did to these things. Why can't they understand that things are meant to be used, and people are meant to be loved, and it's not the other way around. I guess, they love these things because these things are useful to them, it's their way of giving back. People will love things and in return things will be useful to them. Maybe, that's how hedonistic utilitarians love. They ONLY love out of practicality and usefulness. 

                      At first, my heart was touched with the thought that , yes, he might miss me. But, at last I felt that yes, he will definitely miss me, because he knew for himself that I am someone whom he can depend on, that I will ALWAYS BE THERE. He knew me so well, that I am not that heartless enough to just let things happen much more to take things for granted. With these thoughts on my mind, I promised myself to put an end to make this hedonistic utilitarian achieve his "happiness". No more submission to this inversely proportional philosophy.