April 2, 2011-Mama, Mama, I am sick.

Medz is not feeling well today. This is the time when I remember the main reason why I do not want to live alone and away from my family or at most be away from Mama. Siyempre, kami-kame lang roommates ang magkakasama, persons who do not know first aid, and medicine needed for a specific ailment. Those are just few of the things that only mothers know best. I do not want to live away from Mama. Iba pa rin when you are sick and your mother takes care of you. Nothing beats a mother’s loving and caring touch and so they say. That’s why I do not want to live alone, it’s very sad. Nakakaiyak. You have a family and yet you cannot hold on to them when you need them, emotionally, physiologically.  No one takes care of you. You’re too weak to shout that you need their care. You badly need them to take care of you. You need them to remind you that it’s time to take your medicine, to ask them to buy food from Jollibee because you feel like eating burger. And suddenly, you realize those are just imagination if you have high fever, you may call it, hallucination when you live alone. At the end of the grueling heat of your body, you can only reminisce the times when you are home and feverish and your mother touches your forehead. You can only reminisce. That’s all you can do and nothing more. Maybe, if you’re really weak, self-pity will only make things worse. Somehow, I felt, for one day how it is for people abroad to be away from their families. I bet whenever they get sick, they have no choice but to entrust their selves with strangers- they call friends, or else they’ll be dead. Good thing, nothing grave happens. I pray that Medz will feel better by morning because if not, I don’t know what to do. I’m the type of person pa naman, who feezes in situations that calls for presence of mind and grace under pressure. Tsaka, I’m also thinking that I want to take care of Mama in return. She has suffered a lot, much more sacrificed a lot. I’m really grateful that God has given me a strong mother actually, an enduring mother.  

*para kay Mama and to all those caring mothers out there